Damn snow. If there’s any rhythm to walking over this stuff, it’s just in how consistently wearying my progress is. The road is smooth with icy powder, and slick in places, but not firm. And not deep either. It squeaks and crackles and set me back an inch or two every step. I watch my feet more than the horizon.
Fuck it. I stop.
There’s a high white overcast. The air is sharp and clear. Beautiful in a frozen, fucked up, empty way. My kind of environment. I watch my breath billow, and shift my pack. Breathe. Road breathing is three in, two out. It makes plumes like a factory chimney. I wonder about everything I lose breathing like that – heat, moisture – I should be thirsty but I’m not.
I don’t know that I should keep going.
Admin called it a riot. They would. And they held a passing out parade the next day to punish the ringleaders, is what I heard. What I also heard was there were no ringleaders. Maybe some more active kid expressed frustration first, but how could you seriously not have expected everyone to want out of here. Even I’d felt it. For two weeks, Admin had kept us locked in and still taking classes. One day in the first week the fucks on the gate had locked me out for not having my pin on my lapel. (A) No lapel. (B) No pin. Other staff had come and gone looking at me strangely, like I was the anomaly here. Maybe I was. That’s another story.
I did get to see how well the fences kept everyone in. Hint: not at all. Kids were jumping the simple bars almost right next to the gatehouse. Anyway, whatever. That night I’d heard fireworks on campus and gone to look. A handful of students, barred like everyone from travel home, were emptying their rooms through their windows. Books and toilet rolls. Maybe other stuff. Idiots. A lot of kids stood down below yelling encouragement and someone had a cracklers and bangers. School gates opened the next morning and the campus deserted the day after. You know what? I probably wouldn’t have known how or why that happened if I hadn’t gone out that night.
But anyway, fuck this place, it’s falling apart now. Hasn’t been a week and you wouldn’t know anymore it was a working establishment. The place looks abandoned even when people live here. It’s the scale that does that. Everything structure is coarsely large and made of concrete. How can anything so big and solid fall apart so quickly? So I’m going too I guess.
I’m angry at myself though. This is going to take a goddamnned long time and I’ll have to hike through snow.